A Letter for Mac

Hi Mac,

I miss you a lot. I go on everyday pretending you are still in Iligan, still hearing your voice, still seeing your smile. But an emptiness in my heart thrives. Such hurting void lives within me. It used to be your place. It is still your place. The memories I have of you I replay them over and over until I bleed and cry in the mystery of our loss.

At times I wish it was I who was taken. You had greater vision than me, you had better mission than many of us. Your life was well worth than mine. But alas, you are gone and we are left here to hurt, to scatter your goodwill in any way we can, and to miss you most of the time. In time, I know it will not heal, but we will learn to accept what pain is left there is for us to struggle to understand. It still brings misery day to day but we live, surviving, hoping of what might have been.

I am back in the office today and my colleagues wish me well and tell me words of condolences hoping they comfort me but in truth it just hurts the more. I try to live as if it was the same, as if the world is still the same but it is not and never will be.

All I ask is for you to watch over us, with Papang, if ever God allows you to. One day we will be together and maybe we will try to live again and share better love and togetherness than we as family ever did.

Just know that maybe I have not told you often enough but I love you all the time.

Love
Ateping