from Ate Jic

death, unreal, surreal, a dream. i watch him as he mocks me, looks at me, as if daring me
to snatch my loved-one out of his clutch.

i watched my loved-one as if sleeping peacefully, me in a stupor, in a daze, in a trance. i looked at him, wishing, hoping, he'd wake up and smile as if nothing's happened.

i know i don't need to ask, to question, but there is one thing that''s always been on my mind, since 14 years ago, the\nthought unvoiced, un-uttered, the word WHY?

they always say death comes unannounced, unexpected, seldom welcomed. we don't need to ask ourselves why it happened. the how and the what is always answered, but the WHY is never been.

there's no point in regretting, the ones left are always who suffer, feeling bereft, feeling a failure, feeling guilty.

what happened gave me a reality check. life should be lived to the fullest, like what my brother did. we should enjoy life not by having too much material wealth, but loving and giving too much until it hurts.

because when the time comes, we bring nothing and leave everything behind. and what legacy we leave, we hope will be inherited by the next generation, and the generation thereafter.

i know i don't need to ask, to question, but there is one thing that's always been on my mind, since 14 years ago, the thought unvoiced, un-uttered, the word WHY?

they always say death comes unannounced, unexpected, seldom welcomed. we don't need to ask ourselves why it happened. the how and the what is always answered, but the WHY is never been.

there's no point in regretting, the ones left are always who suffer, feeling bereft, feeling a failure, feeling guilty.

what happened gave me a reality check. life should be lived to the fullest, like what my brother did. we should enjoy life not by having too much material wealth, but loving and giving too much until it hurts.

because when the time comes, we bring nothing and leave everything behind. and what legacy we leave, we hope will be inherited by the next generation, and the generation thereafter.


grace

***in memory of my brother, Mark Alfonsus, with love and affection